Somehow for many of women, we’ve grown up to believe that there was something wrong with having confidence. Humility and selflessness was preached and having a strong self of self and confidence was either ignored completely or confused with arrogance and a lack of faith in God. But now that I am an adult with a lot of more life experiences, I understand how necessary being confident is, especially as a woman in this world, so I’m just now catching up.
You need confidence to pursue your dreams. You need confidence to be an advocate for your child. You need confidence to apply for that dream job, nail the interview and then negotiate your worth.
Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Arrogance is offensive and overbearing. Confidence is humble and respected.
What does it look like to walk in confidence?
Confidence, like beauty has to be fed from the inside and outside.
Mindset of confidence
Words and thoughts have power. Speaking uplifting and self-affirming words and aligning your thinking in the same, creates a confident mindset. What your mind and thoughts dwell on will manifest itself in your actions. If you let insecurities and a lack of confidence in your abilities permeate in your mind, they will eventually show itself in your life. You just can’t out act a negative mindset. The mind is too powerful and the limiting beliefs and self-doubt will hold you back.
Posture of confidence
When you’ve mastered a mindset of confidence, it can change your physical posture. You will walk straight, shoulders back, with your head held high. Eliminating the weight of insecurities and negative thoughts off your shoulders allow you to exude confidence .
Where does confidence come from?
True unshakeable confidence must be rooted in something that is unchangeable. It is unrealistic to think that every day you will feel courageous and powerful. Difficulties will arise and tough circumstances come, beat us down and rattle our confidence. In those moments, it’s is important to be able to turn to your source of confidence, one that never changes, no matter how bad the feeling or difficult the situation.
For me, it’s my faith in God. He is unchanging. I know he created me for a purpose, he has good plans for my life and good works for me to complete. He has never failed me and the fact that I am still alive on this earth proves that I have worth, despite how my feelings might change from day to day.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
If you’re starting your self-confidence journey it’s important to identify what is your source, what is the North Star that you can turn to to get you back on track.
How to walk in confidence
And how do you put it into practice? There are three habits that you can adopt to build up, nurture and walk in confidence. Affirmations, celebrating wins and building an encouraging tribe.
For the best results, your chosen affirmations should be meditated on and spoken aloud regularly. They need to seep into your spirit and become a part of you. They need to be personalized and counteract the regular negative thoughts that come to your mind. For this, I look to the bible for some of mine…
- I am loved (John 3:16)
- I was created for a unique purpose (Ephesians 2:10)
- God did not given me a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7)
- I walk in power, in love and in self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)
A wise woman shared this one with me years ago and I have held on to it and put it into practice ever since. All wins whether big or small should be celebrated. Acknowledging your wins helps to build your confidence because when you celebrate you begin to build an arsenal with which to draw from when the fear and tough times come.
Build an encouraging tribe
Get yourself a tribe of loving, encouraging and powerful people to gas you up. People who will talk you up and remind you of your greatness. A team that is inspired by you and believes in you so fiercely that you cannot help but believe in yourself. If you don’t already have a tribe like this, you can change that. Be intentional about making new friends that you can encourage and can give also give you the same.
World renowned speaker Dr. Myles Munroe speaks on how to walk in confidence in this powerful message it starts at 25.35. Check it out.
In the clip, Dr. Munroe breaks down his 4 steps to walking in confidence:
- Knowledge of purpose
- Knowledge of potential
- Knowledge of resources
- Knowledge of one’s source
How to walk in a room with confidence
Now that you’ve secured your confidence on the inside and it’s emanating on the outside, it may still be nerve wrecking to walk into a room full of strangers. The key to doing this confidently is preparing yourself beforehand. Remember those affirmations that I told you to have? This is a time to pull them out.
Before you walk in and even as you are walking, recite to yourself the words that you’ve chosen to help build you up and keep reciting them until you think, walk and act like you believe it.
How to be confident walking alone
When you’re all by yourself, your squad is not around and the negative, self defeating thoughts come, can you still be confident? Can you still be confident when people’s thoughts about you change and you all by yourself? You absolutely can, the secret is to turn to your source.
It is never to late too late to build on your confidence. No matter how old you are or how far you’ve gone, you can put these tips into practice. And start small, identify one small step you can take, one small habit that you can begin to put into practice. All major life changes start with one shaky step, but you are worth it.