I have big goals that I want to achieve this year. The place that I envision myself to be in this time next year is completely unrecognizable from where I am right now. And in order to get there, it’s going to require a level of confidence from me that I have never had before.
Because confidence is not only going to open the doors of the rooms that I envision myself in, but also give me the strength to walk through them.
If you have big dreams for yourself this year, then this post is for you. I am sharing with you the 9 powerful ways that I am building up my level of confidence, right now. And you can do the same too.
What is self-confidence?
According to the University of South Florida Counseling Center, self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. Having high or low self-confidence is rarely related to your actual abilities, and mostly based on your perceptions
So, there’s your first bit of good news. Self confidence has nothing to do with your level of skill. You don’t need to be exceptionally remarkable in any way. You are enough as you are right now. The collection of your mindset, how you feel about yourself and your abilities make up your level of self confidence.
Why is self-confidence important?
One thing I’ve learned in my life, is that nothing can be achieved without self confidence. Any dream or goal you have needs some level of self confidence to attain. From taking your first steps as a baby to defending your PHD thesis. So, the higher your self-confidence, the more you can accomplish in this life.
What is your self confidence rooted in?
Your confidence level has to be rooted and grounded in something bigger than just yourself. Something solid and unchanging because we are flawed and imperfect. Our emotions and moods can change from moment to moment, and so they are unreliable.
My relationship with my Creator and Jesus Christ gives me the foundation with which to build my confidence. And knowing how He seems me and what He created me to be gives me a north star to find my way back when I get lost.
How do you determine your confidence?
Where would you say your confidence level is right now? Take an honest stock of your thoughts and emotions toward yourself. How do you receive a compliment? Are you able to receive one at all? Do you celebrate your wins? Do you allow yourself to be used by others?What does your internal monologue sound like?
No one can be positive all the time, but do your negative thoughts and sentiments outweigh the positive?
Why is my confidence level low?
If confidence has nothing to do with a level of skills why do some people have high confidence when others seemingly have none? Well, lets assess the root. The mind is like a sponge, it absorbs what you feed it, what others say and do and the environment that surrounds it. Negativity that’s absorbed without proper processing slowly chips away at self confidence.
So, sometimes help is required to know how to process what is going around in your mind, so as not let it affect your confidence negatively. And that help may come in the form of prayer, counseling, medication, meditation, or all of the above. If you can’t manage it on your own, or even if you feel like you have it under control, I encourage you to get additional assistance.
How can I increase my confidence level?
These are the 9 tips I am incorporating in my life right now to help boost my confidence.
- Throw out the notion that you have to do something, have something, or be something other than who you are right now before you can be confident. Believe that you can start exactly where you are. And know that there is confidence already living inside of you, waiting to be uncovered.
- Fill your life with things that bring you joy. And it doesn’t even have to be a grand gesture. Maybe you love gardening, skittles or even getting a cup of overpriced coffee. Intentionally choose these simple indulgences that bring joy because a joyous person is a confident person.
- Make time for things just for you. As a mom this is so hard. I feel guilty spending time away from my son to do something entirely for myself. But it is so critical to allow yourself to take care of yourself. So that your body, soul and mind can trust that you are taking care of you, freeing itself from the self-protective defense mode that many of us live in.
- Take note of what is going on, where you are, who you are with and how you are feeling when negative thoughts enter your mind. Detect the patterns and make a plan to avoid or eliminate the toxic things that drag you down. If the situations cannot be avoided then make a plan to guard your mind and heart from allowing the negativity to penetrate.
- Fill your thoughts with things that are pure, true, lovely, positive. I cannot say enough how important it is to feed your mind with the right things. What are you listening to? Who is on your timeline? What are you consuming? These things all add up even though they seem so innocent, they quietly and slowly chip away at your confidence.
- Do one thing that scares you. And then do another. What have you put off because you’re too scared? Now is the best time to go for it and when you do the “thing” and find out that there was never anything to be afraid of, you will put another brick on the house of confidence that you’re building.
- Stand up and Speak Up for yourself. You are worthy, important and your needs and desires deserve attention and priority. Others around you may not see that, so it is up to you to make space for you.
- Say no more often by setting and stick to the boundaries that align with increasing your peace and confidence. Any and everybody should not have access to you. If you know that someone or something is triggering – refuse to allow it to your space by saying no and meaning it.
- Get more fresh air and exercise to increase your endorphins. Of course we know the health benefits of fresh air and regular exercise, but when you’re feeling good, you also have the energy to make better choices for yourself. Because choosing you is not always the easy choice and you’re going to sometimes need all the strength you have to do it.
So what will it be for you? If you know that you want more for your life and lack the confidence to get there, join me in raising the bar for yourself to walk in confidence this year.